tl;dr on all of my blog posts HAH
The answer is nothing. I'm wasting my time again at this juncture. I should be studying and reading, trying hard to do my best for those exams. But no! All I've done is watch Blade and anime. Jfc Kevin what are you doing are you a moron the answer is YES you are.
I'm not going to get my expected marks at this rate. I need to FIX UP, as Alan or Aaron would say. Seriously being a bad lad at this juncture.
I really do love physics. I just finished reading Stephen Hawking's 'A Brief History of Time' and it was amazing. I love all of those ideas; and I love the idea of going into theoretical physics when I'm older. But it'll never become a reality at this rate, and I realise that; and yet I'm not doing my hardest to make it become a reality! That's what I'm so pissed off at myself about.
I keep on blaming it on my upbringing: if I hadn't been exposed to anime and video games, maybe I would've grown up into a proper academic? Maybe I would be the one getting 100% on every exam, and have a 100% chance of getting into Cambridge?
But I can't imagine myself without anime and games. I sometimes wish I hadn't become this sort of person, but that's the wrong line of thinking- I can't change what's come to pass. So it's all about what I do from this point on. The only problem is that I keep coming to this standstill, where I stray off my path and end up procrastinating and destroying my chances of doing well. I just watched all of Kamen Rider Blade in 5 days, and as much as I enjoyed it, I feel like shit for wasting my time watching it. It's not even just that. Sleeping at 5am and waking up in the afternoon shouldn't be acceptable if I want to study. I need to fix up real bad.
I won't succeed by just taking things easy. Everybody else is trying their hardest, yet I'm doing nothing. Fuck you, Kevin! You are the biggest idiot ever. You don't deserve anything good if you don't work for it!
So the bottom line is, I need to start studying. 4 hours a day minimum. I will begin that on Sunday, I promise. Tomorrow I must go to the cemetery and then to my cousins' house. I have an excuse! I wish I didn't have one, and that I could start tomorrow. But it must instead be Sunday. I must not switch on the laptop until I have done at least 4 hours of work. Can I pull it off? I really hope I can.
Studies aside, my life is meaningless. I mean, I am a huge otaku faggot nerd so I won't be getting a girlfriend, right. I am pretty positive about that. Cute girls EVERYWHERE at college, but NOPE KEVIN NOPE. I'm not even hoping for anything at this point- well, at least I'm trying my best not to hope for anything. I'm half-way there! But whenever I see a particular cute girl/picture, I lose myself and I'm like DAMN KEVIN YOU LOSER YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET A GIRLFRIEND THAT GREAT. Seriously man, I will never do as well as I have before. Being young was great. I feel like a shit now haha. I guess this is what growing up is like- realising what you are and what your capabilities are. Well, if I fail in the field of love, I'll at least succeed in physics! And to do that I must study harder! That's right, it's a closed circle- failure to success!
So my love should be for robots and physics. Can we just leave it at that? Nope because cute girls will always exist and they are the bane of KEVIN. Welp, I enjoy admiring from a distance anyway- as long as that distance isn't TOO far apart. Hehheheheheheh creep mode activate ohhhy eyahaaaaaa
Nothing else worth mentioning exist I think of myself pretty lowly right now and I need to FIX UP ok bye lol I like how my grammar deteriorates by the end of my posts hah ok
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